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There was once a sheep farmer who needed help with the difficult task of castrating some of his inferior male sheep to keep them from breeding with the females. He hired a French guy who didn't speak much English, but was a very good worker.
After the first day, they had successfully castrated 14 sheep and his French worker was just about to throw away the "parts", but the sheep farmer yelled, "No! Don't throw those away! My wife fries them up and we eat them. They're delicious and we call them 'sheep fries'."
Later that day, the French hired hand came in for supper, and indeed the 'sheep fries' were tasty.
The next day, they castrated 16 sheep, and the following evening they all settled down to another supper of 'sheep fries'. The third day, however, when the sheep farmer came home, he asked his wife where the French hired hand was, and she said, "You know, it's the weirdest thing! I told him since there weren't very many 'sheep fries' this evening, we were also going to have French fries, and he ran like hell!"
A depressed young woman from a Manhattan finishing school was so desperate that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean.
When she went down to the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her tears, took pity on her, and said, "Look, you've got a lot to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day."
"Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."
The girl nodded. What did she have to lose?
That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.
Three weeks later, during a routine search, she was discovered by the captain. "What are you doing here?" he asked.
"I had an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "He's taking me to Europe, and every night he came and screwed me."
"He sure did, lady," said the captain. "This is the Staten Island Ferry."
A new employee joins the Company, and is required to have a password setup for his computer. The boss directed a secretary to setup the password for him.
The secretary asks the man for the password. The man, attempting to embrass the secretary in order to show superiority, said, "Penis."
Blushed, the secretary inputted the password Penis, and re-typed it again. Then she hit enter.
The whole office heard the secretary bursting out of laughters as a reaction from the computer's screen:
"Password rejected. Reason: Too short"
It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds.
As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car. He stopped and asked them if they were stealing the car.
They said heavens no, they had bought it. He said, then why don't you drive it away.
They said we can't drive.
He said, then why did you buy it?
They answered, we were told if we bought a car here, we'd get screwed, so we are just waiting.
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