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Former Vice President Quayle, Speaker of the House Gingrich, and
President Clinton are traveling in a car together in Kansas.
A tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses
them thousands of yards away. They all fall into a daze. When they
come to and extract themselves from the vehicle, they realize they're
in the fabled Land of Oz.
They decide to go see the famous Wizard of Oz. The Wizard is known
for granting people their wishes.
Quayle says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain."
Gingrich responds, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart."
Clinton speaks up, "Where's Dorothy?"
Clinton is on the beach at Martha's Vinyard and finds an old bottle washed ashore. When the President opens it and a Genie snakes out.
Genie: Hi Bill. I'm a very weak genie, so I can only grant you one wish--it had better be easy if you want me to do it.
Clinton: I pray for world peace. Give me that.
Genie: That's a little hard, give me something easier.
Clinton: Make Hillary into the most beautiful woman in the world?
Genie: World peace it is.
Q. Why don't Iraqis have Drivers Ed and Sex Ed on the same day?
A. It's too hard on the camels!
One day as President Clinton was getting off the helicopter in front of the White House, he had a baby pig under each arm. The Marine guard snapped to attention, salutes, and said: ''Nice pigs, sir.''
The President replied, ''These are not pigs, these are authentic Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Hillary, and I got one for Chelsea.''
The Marine again snapped to attention, saluted, and replied, ''Nice trade, sir'''
"I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in the car!"
A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland.
Polish Search and Rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.
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