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Two guys are playing golf -- a Japanese and American. The Japanese guy, getting ready to tee off, begins talking into his thumb.
The American says, 'What are you doing?'
The Japanese guy says: 'Oh, don't worry. With microtechnology, I have a microphone inserted in my thumb. I was just recording a message.'
The two men go on playing golf. All of a sudden, the American guy makes a funny sound that sounds amazingly like a fart.
The Japanese guy looks over at him.
'Oh,' says the American. 'Don't worry, I'm just receiving a fax.'
A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever."
A smart ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
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