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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
Because everybody who can run, jump, and swim is already in the U.S.
The Canadian government is going to help America with the war
on terrorism. They have pledged 2 of their biggest battle
ships, 6000 ground troops and 6 fighter jets.
Unfortunately, after the exchange rate conversion, we
ended up with 2 canoes, 1 Mountie, and some flying
squirrels.
The Oil Shortage
There are a lot of people who can't understand how we came
to have an oil shortage here in America.
Well, there's a very simple answer:
We couldn't check it out...
All the dipsticks...are in Washington, DC!
President Clinton and the Pope died on the same day, and due to an administrative foul-up, Clinton was sent to heaven and the Pope was sent to hell. The Pope explained the situation to the devil who acknowledged the error. The Pope was told, however, that it would take about 24 hours to fix the problem. The next day, the Pope was sent off to heaven. On his way up, he met Clinton who was on his way down. They stopped to chat.
"Sorry about the mix-up" said the Pope. "Though I''m really excited about going to heaven."
"Why''s that?"
"I''ve always wanted to meet the Virgin Mary."
"You''re about a day late."
Clinton is on the beach at Martha's Vinyard and finds an old bottle washed ashore. When the President opens it and a Genie snakes out.
Genie: Hi Bill. I'm a very weak genie, so I can only grant you one wish--it had better be easy if you want me to do it.
Clinton: I pray for world peace. Give me that.
Genie: That's a little hard, give me something easier.
Clinton: Make Hillary into the most beautiful woman in the world?
Genie: World peace it is.
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